Call Cousin Vinnie-- the Fuzz is after us!

February 15, 2009, Sunday
We have done 3200 miles on our trip. . .and today will be OUR "TURN AROUND", we're heading back home--goin' east---

Today started out pretty good except it was Sunday and MANY MANY shops and restaurants are closed here in Amarillo, TX-- WE ARE IN THE BIBLE BELT!-- We looked in vain for an Office Max, Staples ( no such beasts) or UPS store (found one---closed)- to mail my 3 giant packages home--

we poked around some antique stores that were open, ate an early supper at South of the Border, and headed east toward Oklahoma--every now and then I'd stop and take a picture of a dead skunk or a cow or oil well or something, then pull back onto the road and continue on.

We had gotten some fudge in 6 different flavors and Sue had pulled them out so we could taste them all-- I told her I had a very very sharp knife in my glove compartment. She rooted around and found it and proceded to hack off hunks of fudge for our fudge tasting~~Miss Daisy, (Joe) called me on the phone (which was on speaker), so I was driving down the highway, yakking to Joe, Sue's handing me hunks of fudge, and then I saw him. . .

He was on the opposite side of the highway and he crossed over the grassy, ditch of a median strip-- he had his flashing lights on-- I was watching him outta my mirror-- he was wa-a-a-a-yyyy back there-- a good quarter mile-- I paused momentarily from all my multi-tasking that was going on in the car, to see if he was after ME-- He remained way back there--- lights flashing--- I looked around and didn't see any other cars on the road, but he wasn't gaining on me or even trying to as near as I could tell--- so I figured I wasn't his target-- I continued on--- he remained wayyyyy back there--

I told Joe I'd better get off the phone and see if he WAS after me~~

Sue is doing poltergeist head turning--- she's starting to hyperventilate-- "It's because we have so much stuff in the car--- he's after us 'cause we have no visibility "
"Are you crazy?" I snapped at her, "How in the world could he possibly have seen what was in this car from across the highway???"

I kept checking my mirror--- he didn't get any closer, but I decided he MUST be after me because there were NO OTHER cars on the road--- I wondered why he didn't get closer to me???? so I slowed way, way down, and then he came up behind me, lights still flashing, and I pulled over (Joe said he didn't get closer 'cause he was burning up his engine trying to catch me)
I figured we'd be on the evening episode of COPS, before it was all over, being in a NEW YORK car in TEXAS-- for crap's sake

He approached the car on Sue's side --I think she's wetting her pants about now-- Her eyes were as big as saucers. . .she looked like Wiley Coyote did before the rock fell on his head. . .

"LICENSE and INSURANCE please, " he says with his head in the window---

I'm hoping Sue will stick her boobs out and distract him, but that didn't occur to her---

I hand him the required documents and ask him what I'd done--
"You were SPEEDING! " he bellowed
"I was?????" I asked incredulously, sucking a piece of cherry fudge outta my tooth---" what IS the speed limit here, anyway?"
"70"--he replied
"Oh, I AM sorry--- "I thought you pulled me 'cause I was stopping to take pictures of cows"
I think he had a fleeting thought of searching the car but when he poked his head in the window and saw stuff crammed to the ceiling, he thought better of it--he took my license back to his car-

-I had to hold a mirror under Sue's nose to see if she was still breathing. . . he returned and said he was gonna give me a warning this time and he handed me a printed out WARNING--
"thank you so much," I said gratefully--
and we were off--
Then it dawned on me--- THE KNIFE!--- Oh No!
"Sue, I gasped, " good thing he didn't see the knife! He woulda gotten us for weapon possession"
"Oh I hid that first thing," she says calmly (HUH???can you say PRO--FESSIONAL criminal?????)
"You HID it??? He coulda gotten us for CONCEALED weapon"

she probably hid it under the post-it notes--
Later~~
Mar