my my am I ever BEHIND!

September 11 was my birthday and I spent the day shopping in
Georgetown-- I walked down there-- a hundred miles by my calculation--:*O I came back into my "NABE" and ate at a place that was also a bookstore-- I had crabcake and pasta-- DELISH--crabcake over pasta, with avocado, tomatoes, and corn--YUM--- pair it up with an ICE COLD BEER and HAPP--PPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEE--~~slurp~~

September 12 was the BIG DAY-- it was a spectacular day! The day started around 9 am . I took a subway into "town" and met up with HUNDREDS of outraged people from ALL over the country! The signs were hilarious, NOT the trash the LIBERAL MEDIA focused on in their 20 seconds of coverage--One sign read, "I GOT TIRED OF YELLING AT MY TELEVISION, SO I CAME HERE" There were dogs ( wearing signs that read: "I bite liberals" , or "I create 2 'shovel ready' projects a day", or " I am a government watchdog")--There were children , seniors, some on oxygen, some in wheelchairs, blacks whites, foreigners, --one little girl, about 2 years old, was holding a sign, that read: "I'm only 2 and I owe $38,000"

The greatest crime that I witnessed was several people climbing over the 4 foot wall onto the actual capitol grounds-, me included--- some old "geezers" ( probably younger than me! :*)~ ) pulled me over the wall as soon as the cops turned their backs--ha ha-- yes! apparently I have trouble with the FUZZ!-- the crowds were ENORMOUS-- well over a MILLION--- don't care what the LIBERAL PRESS says--as you can see, this is toward the end of the "rally" and look at the ground-- no garbage! and no arrests-- I headed back to my hotel and ate at some seafood place and met a girl that was at the rally sitting at the table next to me---I could tell because she was dressed head to toe in flag paraphernalia ---turns out, she was from LONG ISLAND--

anyway, it was quite exhilarating meeting so many people from all walks of life and from all parts of this country --

Later ~~

Thursday September 10

I left home around noon for the 4 hour drive to DC--I was listening to my latest "book on tape" that 's really on a cd-(Atlas Shrugged, what else for the protest??)-If I saw a bus along the way, I'd wonder if they were heading to Washington, too. I'd see a car with an American flag flappin off the rear window and again wonder if it was another "patriot" enroute to the Tea Party. Thank God I have a GPS in my car or I'd have NEVER found my hotel which was nestled in the northwest section of DC on "EMBASSY ROW"--I arrived around 4 pm, registered, asked for some restaurant recommendations and got a map of the area- Parking on premises here is $28/day--- amateurs! I'm from New York where it costs $28/ hour--HA!

The helpful guy at the desk, was a "ferener" and I didn't understand ONE thing he said--I kept saying, "excuse me?" after everything he said--the other desk guy was also a ferner from another country and he helpfully tried to "interpret" what the first guy was saying--finally I gave up the fight and just nodded-- he looked very excited and disappeared into the back room-- he came out with a small plate, and a wet, wrapped towel on it-- He proudly pushed it across the counter at me. Trying not to look STUPID, I unwrapped the towel and looked at him, puzzled.
"for your hands, ma-DAM" he said
So I stood at the desk , while I was in the middle of REGISTERING, holding a cold wet towel to wipe my hands on--Now, my hands are sopping wet, and he's pushing the form at me to sign and asking for my credit card--wondering what to do with my wet hands, and the wet towel, I plopped the towel down on the plate, wiped my hands on my ass, scrounged in my wallet for my credit card, signed the papers, took the key and went outside to move my car. I wondered what country on earth these guys came from that gives you a cold wet towel at CHECK IN?

The man at the desk had informed me it was "a little tight" in the underground (under the building) parking area-TIGHT??? meaning. . .?
I got the car, started the descent into the gated underground parking--you needed to put in your room key to open the gate--- the gate squeeked and creaked UP and I inched forward-- all kinds of pipes, insulation, air/heat vents were hanging from the ceiling-- I seriously wondered if my jeep would scrape the ceiling--at the bottom of the entrance, dead ahead, was a cinderblock wall--as I creeped forward, the gate started closing behind me--- NOW WHAT do I do? the only parking was at a 180 degree turn around the wall to my right-YIKES!! --as I turned the car to the RIGHT , my headlights nearly touched another wall where the elevator was--WHA??? no way back, no way front, no way sideways-- so the only thing for me to do was make a 50 point turn, hoping the car didn't lurch into the elevator nook--- I finally got the car headed in the right direction for parking, and there were 6, count them, 6 spaces, 2 each between 2 sets of poles-- the only way in was another 75 point turn--after sweating and twisting, and turning and doing all kinds of contortions, I finally got the truckster nestled into a spot on the end--I gave up trying to open the tailgate-- it would have whacked the hell outta the ceiling--guess I'll go to PLAN B for travel tomorrow--aint taking that baby outta there-
Anyway, went up to my room to "freshen up" before heading out to dinner-- My room is fancy, papered in black toile, with all kinds of "modern" sleek lamps and bath fixtures-- the bathroom door is frosted glass, a nightlite pops on under the sink when you go into the bathroom, the sink is FLAT--HUH? there is a giant chrome? lamp that looks like a desk lamp that I still havent' figured out how to turn on? I grab my make up bag and turn on the lights over the mirror-over one of my eyes, it looks like a line of black magic marker? I lean in closer-- is it mascara? I licked my finger and rubbed--it didn't BUDGE--oh dear, was it on there when I was registering?? no wonder the man brought me a wet towel? IT WAS FOR MY EYE-- NOT MY HANDS!! OH NO !!! OR??? Did my mascara smudge when I was sweating bullets doing the 700 point turns in the bat cave?

I grab the bottle of Oil of Olay and dab it on the eyelid-- this ALWAYS works-- except for NOW-
what the hell? anyway, now I wet my finger, soap it up and rub-- no go-- -- NO GO!! grab a tissue, wet it, with a dab of soap and rub~~~NOPE~~~YIKES what is this????? get the washcloth , wet it, soap it up and scrub-OUCH~~ scrub~~ OUCH~~scrub~~OUCH! it finally, FINALLY comes off, only now my eye is beet red and I look like HITCH --
Oh well, I don't know anybody in this town-- so I'm off for the mere 12 BLOCKS down the road toward the restaurants. I spotted a restaurant called THAIPHOON and thought the name was very clever, so I went in--
"table for ONE," I said
he seats me next to another lady at HER "table for one"
She had ordered the "special"--lightly breaded eggplant, with minced chicken and basil in a light garlic sauce--Hers looked so good I ordered the same-- we started talking and it turns out she was from Germany-- we talked about our different governments and she was tellling me that they have socialized medicine,that they pay DEARLY for, and income taxes at 70%--that's HER percentage, as a YOUNG, SINGLE taxpaper--God only knows what the wealthy must pay there, and that the wait to see a doctor is a very long time-- she said she has never been really ill, but if you were, you were not given any special considerations-- you waited your turn. PERIOD. That's why I'm here, I told her. She even said that she would try to make it to the Capitol on Saturday to see what it was all about.
She told me she was staying down the block at the Mayflower Hotel
"Isn't that the one where the Mayflower Madame ran her business?" I asked her
She looked at me blankly-
"UH OH", I thought, "maybe she's a hooker??"
"I don't understand the "madame"? she said
"you know, like a girl PIMP? a MADAME? she wrote an expose book on all the famous people who frequented there"
She nodded, as if deep in thought~~
maybe she WAS the Mayflower Madam-- ?
anyway~~
Signing off for the evening-
Later~

getting ready for my birthday journey

Today, September 9, 2009, I am printing out hotel confirmations, itineraries for the "protests" and packing. I e-mailed my brother to ask him if he wanted to join me in DC

"I'm goin to DC to protest--- wanna go?" I asked.
his reply:
" Joe Fxxxxx (xx's to protect poor ole Joe's identity) went to Washington alone to protest for the Indian (natives) causes and came back and promptly gave her husband Sandy a case of the claps, who then promptly gave it to his girl friend from Minn. who went home and gave it to her husband who then gave it to his girl friend and so on. I was in the house when she came home, so I got a call from the health dept. and at last count 18 people got it within 3 days. b careful "

THIS is what he wants me to be careful in WASHINGTON DC with?????I was thinking more along the lines of wearing a flak jacket and taking pepper spray--

Getting ready for THE PROTEST-first some background. . .

I guess you're all wondering if Sue and I made it back from being cooped up in the car for 6000 miles---we did--- the journey ended as it started--- COLD and snowing! But I will try and catch you up to that later!

On April 15, I traveled to NEW YORK CITY ALONE (well, it wasn't that far, after all, only a 30 minute train ride from my house), armed with magic markers, poster board, flags and money--

We were protesting in the infamous TEA PARTY-- about HIGH taxes, bailouts, stimulus bills, out of control Congress, and the clueless government in general. I had no idea what to expect, or where I was going-- I had an address-- the city hall park. $40 later, with train $$, and taxi $$, I was dropped off a few blocks from the area-- I could tell, because I saw a herd of people walking, so I jumped out, and joined them--- hoping they were going to the same thing as I was!!

I rounded the corner to the sidewalk in front of the park!!! HOLY!!! People, people everywhere! And here I thought I was the only one here in NEW YORK! It was truly truly inspiring to see how NEW YORKERS, of all people, were so outraged ( and this is BEFORE any talk of HEALTHCARE)-- we were told that over 12,500 people were there!!! NO RIOTS, NO RUDENESS, just mad as hell people holding signs--- there were kids there, foreigners, young people out of college, black, white, asian, ukrainian, english, you name it, they were there and they were MAD-- and of course not ONE peep out of the mainstream media-- not one PEEP.

the things we saw. . .

I have to say, along the way, the assortment of dead things was ENORMOUS! There were HUNDREDS of dead skunks--(the most popular dead animal, by far!)--there were even several black and white dead CATS that met their demise, probably quite by mistake- just by being the wrong color--- bring in the politically correct police---ahhh, but I digress. . .
sometimes when we whizzed by a flattened carcass in our traveling "kennel" I'd wonder out loud if it was a cat or a skunk--
"a skunk", Sue'd say, always with absolute certainty
"hmm--looked like a cat to me," I'd reply, squinting at the blob in the rear view mirror
"That's why they call them 'WOOD PUSSIES, '" says Sue~~
"I ain't touchin' THAT one", sniffs I--(boy, the STUFF she knows?)

~~and of course, Sue saw the dead cow, way back in Texas--I asked her how she knew it was dead and she replied, "IT. WAS. DEAD. --"--she provided no other details, so I reckon it musta been on it's back with it's 4 legs stickin' straight up??? guess I'll never know how she knew--- and neither will YOU~~~

We saw many, many dead possums, a dead dog or two, a giant bird (hawk? falcon? seagull?--we WERE in Beach territory when we saw that--), quite a few axis deer, and a dead coyote, strung up by his hind legs on a fence~~~(gruesome!)--we're not sure why the thing was hanging there--possibly to scare off other coyotes??? like my mother who snags any passer by that comes to her house to come back and bring a gun and shoot her a crow so she can hang it in her pecan tree to scare off other crows--but AGAIN I digress. . .

so now, if you have gobs and gobs of dead stuff--- what else are you gonna have????
YOU guessed it!!!! BUZZARDS!--buzzards, buzzards everywhere, doing what buzzards do~~~ circling their half dead victim, driving it insane as it lays there dying, hoping to speed up the process, as they MUST wait til it's dead before feasting on it~~~~

"Wow!" I gasp--"look at all those buzzards!--there must be something really big and dead over there" as I swung my free hand (the one not taking notes or holding the camera) towards a field off in the distance~~
"Well, " says WILD KINGDOM Sue, "I'm not so sure --I think they are just riding the current"
"RIDING THE CURRENT???????" What are you talking about????" I yelled at her---"they're circling dead stuff!!!"
"Not necessarily, " she sniffed, looking deep in thought
"are you SERIOUS??? " I was screaming , now--"I was born and raised with buzzards-- and didn't you ever watch those westerns where the guy was staked in the desert and he would see the buzzards circling through blurry slits in his eyes???--they weren't RIDING the current! there wasn't even a current IN the desert????"
where DOES she get this stuff?

and speaking of "STUFF"~~~remember the pocketbook that has been riding in Sue's lap for 6000 miles???? Well, I'm beginning to think that it's a Mary Poppins bag--Ive never SEEN so much stuff come out of a pocketbook~~~
"Sue, do you have a pen?" I'll ask
"sure"~~ and she'll reach in "the pocketbook" and pull out a pen
"Sue, do you have a bandaid? "
"Sure"-- instant band aid
"nailfile?"
'Sure"~~~instant nailfile
"paper?"
"sure" ~~instant paper
"laundry detergent?
"sure~~~
"kleenex?
"sure"
"mint?"
"sure"
stamps?
sure"
flashlite?
"sure"
"toothpaste?"
"sure"
"flea powder?"
"sure"
"saddle?"
"sure"
you get the idea-- you name it she pulled it outta there--

and the mystery of why that pocketbook is never leaving her lap~~?????
are you ready??? I think I've figured it out!

when we were in a store in Alabama, we saw a sign that read: "The bigger your pocketbook the smaller your butt looks"

I had no idea she would take it so solidly to heart~~

Later~~
Mar

The journey home continues. . .Feb 26, 2009

We made it through Oklahoma without any space debris falling on us or any tornado hurling us off into the wild blue yonder-

For a visual of our traveling "domain" think about this: 2 people cooped up in the front seat of a car (jeep) for 6,000 miles!!! ~~~ One of us driving, all the while taking pictures, writing in her diary and cussing, the other, buried under maps and post it notes, 2 plastic cups of "handy, dandy, out of this world salad dressing " in a zip loc, inside a kleenex box, tucked under her feet, 4 bottles of water, cooling in the springs beneath her seat, (her innovation) and. . .her pocket book still perched on her lap~~~guess who's who????

I often compared our close knit quarters to the dog kennel where Trittie and Maggie have been boarded for the last month--

Sometimes I swear I see Sue taking a deep breath before getting back into the cage, er, I mean, her seat--I know I do~~

Anyway, when we get to the hotels now, Sue waits for me to spray the room down with Lysol ~~all along, if she even sniffs or clears her throat I have asked her if she would like some "airborne" (loaded Vitamin C)

"no, I'm good" she ALWAYS replies~~

The other day I thought I heard a noise coming from under the maps over there on the other side of the car~~~

uh oh--

"need some airborne?" I ask

"Nope, I'm good, " she hacks

I think she's coming down with KENNEL COUGH~~

Later~
Mar

Kay's Kafe

Feb 16. Monday

When you last left us, we were burning rubber out of Harley and Annabelle's town-, Erick OK--

-We headed toward Clinton OK-- and explored along the way--- not much happening ~~along about lunchtime, we stopped in this random ghost town at a place called KAY'S KAFE-- a note here: seems everybody in OKLAHOMA, TEXAS, ALABAMA, AND TENNESSEE, love, love, love to spell stuff with "K's"--one of my PERSONAL pet peeves--- I hate it when people do that~~~
anyway,
there have been Kozy Kottages, Kathy's Kafe, Kum and Go, Moka's Koffee and Kremery, Kathy's Krazy Kwilts, Konnie's Kountry Krafts~~y'all get the idea-- KRAZY :*)~
so anyway, we're in a town called Carter ( one of ONLY 2 places spelled with a "C" --Clinton is the other) at Kay's Kafe, and we walk in-- everybody in there turns and stares-- not a word is spoken-- they all just stare--We tell the lady behind the counter, ( Kay?) we'd like lunch and she looks at us and says, "Well, just sit down anywhere, then"
So we take a booth with red vinyl seats and sit there-- nobody says anything to us--

the lady behind the counter is talking to all the other people in there-- they obviously are locals and eat there everyday-- she runs into the kitchen and brings out some food for the people-- then comes over to us with her pad poised and says, "So, have you decided what you want?"

Sue and I look at each other and then ask her if we can see a MENU?

A look crosses her face, like , "what's a MENU?" or maybe she was trying to think where they might be--apparently nobody ever looks at or orders off of a MENU there
"well, if you WANT to see a menu. . .~~~most people just order the special"
Sue asks her, "Oh!!! what is the special???"
She flips her head in the direction of the back of the restaurant where a white chalkboard was--pad still in the writing position. . .
we craned our necks over there and squinted, trying to read the half wiped off "special"--
I could make out a C" and an "H"--the rest was too blurred out to read---

she's looking rather impatient so nervous Sue blurts out~"OK then, I'll have the special!"
I'm wondering what in the hell the special is--hmmm. . "C?'' H??" must be a cheese sandwich-- maybe toasted cheese???
She then offers, "Those two over there are sharing the special," nodding over her shoulder at a man and an ENORMOUS woman at the next table--
"Oh," we're thinking, "this special must be really really big if that woman only needs half~~
So I ask Sue if she wants to split the special--
She says SURE--
I then ask the woman what the special is-- as she walks away, she says, "It's two chili dogs and chips"
Uh Oh-- I see toilet trouble. . .

We ain't lyin'--go to YOUTUBE and look up "Harley and Annabelle"

Today is Monday, February 16, 2009

We left the comfort of our hotel and headed out into the world of tornadoes and falling space debris, heading toward Clinton, OK-- we had a hot tip from some lady in Amarillo TX, that the "antique pickens" were unbelievable along the old route 66 ( rt 40)-- a tertiary road :*)--from Erick to Clinton in Oklahoma ~

My boxes to be mailed have grown to 5 and they are really cramping our "treasure space" in the car--but there is NOWHERE to mail them--plus, it's President's Day-- everything's closed~

But today, we hurriedly crammed all our stuff into the car willy nilly so we could get an early, early start on all the exciting treasure troves along rt 66 that the dipwad Amarillo woman told us about--

We'd been on the road barely 10 minutes when we saw the sign welcoming us to ERICK--

Hot dog! that was fast! lets keep our eyeballs peeled for all the cute shops-- well, as we passed boarded up building after building, and barely 3 cars in the whole town, we spotted an old building on the right---loaded with old road signs, and junk all over the front porch~~~
"JACKPOT!", we were thinking.

Just as we got out of the car, we saw a woman with long white hair running toward us from across the side yard of the building and told us she would let us in--
--"WOW!!-- how lucky are WE that she is here to let us in this place!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!! "

She opens the door and I stepped in first--- it was very dark and smelled of burning wood from a wood stove, and LOADED with stuff up to the rafters! I turned around and she was hugging Sue--- telling her that her name was ANNABELLE and what was hers?--UH OH--- then she comes over to me and gives me the same welcome---I'm not liking this too much. . . "CRAZY"Annabelle is more like it--"
I glance over at Sue and she is grinning from ear to ear--happy as a clam~~~

We very soon found out that this is NOT a store, but a THEATER, as Crazy Annabelle kept telling us-
I'm still not gettin' it~~~ I'm thinking-- "Oh this was an OLD theater, turned into an antiques store?"--

-As my eyes became accustomed to the dim light, I noticed there were hundreds and hundreds of coins strewn all over the old wood floors , and a few bowls on random tables with a 10 or 20 dollar bill inside---ok~~now I'm GETTIN' it ~~~
They do NOT sell stuff, they run a "THEATER"~~and they want M-O-N-E-Y~~


The door opens and in walks Cro Magnum man---HARLEY~~with an armful of wood for the stove--- he greets us the same as Crazy Annabelle, except compared to HIM, Annabelle is the very definition of sane--He is wearing overalls, has a full beard and long hair and is dripping "crazy"--He immediately goes into a well rehearsed dialog about all kinds of stuff~~ the government, the world, his life, what drugs he's taken, sold, planted, or bought, how he met ole Annabelle, who, what and how many groups have visited their "Theater"--all told without ever pausing or drawing a breath---just one 5 minute run-on sentence after another--I'm making sure I keep close to the door and make sure that they are NEVER between me and the door--

Sue, on the other hand. . .

. . .is still happy as can be and is enthusiastically asking them QUESTIONS ??? yikes!~~~

Ok, these people DEFINITELY have bodies in their freezer~~

I asked if I could take a picture and they all went into manic mode-- Sue jumped up and grabbed a tamborine, then jumped in between Crazy and Super Crazy, started kicking up her legs and whacking the tamborine on her ass--if I didn't know better, I might think Sue felt right at home here?
Now keep in mind how she was TERRIFIED in New Orleans just walking down Bourban Street???
Crazy Harley continues blabbering on, without so much as a comma between sentences--he leaves the room and goes somewhere outta sight, talking incessantly the whole time-- he returns with a Coke---more than likely he had to dig through frozen Eric, Lulu or Chester in the Frigidaire to get to that Coke~~~
I kept trying to "wrap it up" and get the Hell outta there, but Sue kept egging them on--Crazy Annabelle kept showing us dozens of pictures of people who had visited them, and Harley was firing papers at me about how the mayor of Erick was trying to make him get a parade permit 'cause too many people came into town to see them and created a traffic problem--HUH?? there were only 3 cars during the height of business on the day we were there--

Sue finally plopped $$ into their jar and we made our way outta there, but not before we had to give them a GOOD-BYE hug and agree to go around the block and look at their house-- we drove by their house (recognizable by the 7,000 road signs plastered all over every available surface)--- there was MORE junk in their yard than there was in the store, AND there was a FULL sized, TAXIDERMIED deer standing in the yard, amid all the clutter--
Happy Sue exclaimed that at least it looked better than the ceramic ones people put in their yards. .

As we rounded the corner by the store to get back onto the main road, they were standing there, waving to us--3 feet from our car---
Out of the corner of my eye, I think I saw Sue blowin' kisses to them!~~~

can you say, "DELIVERANCE?"

I sped up and burnt rubber all the way to the next town.-- I wonder if that lady in Amarillo was in on it?
Later~~
Mar

February 15-16, 2009--OKLAHOMA

Sunday, February 15, 2009-- We are in Oklahoma!-- We made it out of Texas without being jailed!!! Yippppeeee



Now that we're in Oklahoma, we start discussing tornadoes--- "Well", says I, "I think when you're in a house you're supposed to go and get in the bathtub in the bathroom"

"WHAT???" says Sue, "I don't think so, Where did you hear that?"

"Well, on Desperate Housewives, they were all holed up in the bathroom during the tornado", I said

"No, I think you're supposed to go to the center of the house, " she says

"OK, then if you're in a car what are you supposed to do?" I baited her.

"Well, you're supposed to OUTRUN them" she states--

"OUTRUN them??? how are you supposed to do that???" I asked

"Don't you watch the storm chasers??--- they're always outrunning the storms", she says

"they watch which way it's heading and then outrun it"

"You're CRAZY--- you can't outrun a storm---I think they change directions on a dime-- you're supposed to go in a ditch, " I yelped

"Well, YOU can go in the ditch, I'm gonna outrun it" she snorts

sooooooo, we call our resident Texan/TOUR GUIDE-- Karen-- and ask her

"Well, you are supposed to go in the bathroom if it's in the middle of the house", she muses~~

"Well, how about if you're in your car and see one coming--- then what?" , I ask

Hmmmm, I think you're supposed to go in a ditch", she says~~

We got to Erick, OK around 7 pm, and just as we were checking into our hotel, my cousin Sophia (SOAF--YA) calls me;

"I just called to tell y'all to be careful 'cause I just heard that all that space debris from those spaceships that crashed into each other is falling somewhere in Texas-and maybe Oklahoma--and I didn't want y'all to get hit by any of it, so be careful~~~"

Crap! what 's going on in this part of the country???? We've gotta keep our eyeballs out for ditches to roll into and dodge possible space debris-- and we thought we had troubles with the Texas Fuzz~~gasp~~

Now I'm starting to worry about those Tornado possibilities--- Sophia used to live in Oklahoma so I asked her what you were supposed to do if you were trapped in a car during a tornado--
she said, she wasn't sure but she thought you were supposed to get in a ditch~~
OK, then, I'm getting in the ditch-- Sue's on her own!
So then I asked Sophia if she'd ever been in a tornado
"Well," she pondered, "I think I was."

Now, I'm no mind reader, but I'm pretty sure if you'd been in a tornado YOU'D KNOW IT???

"HUH???" I asked--"How in the world could you NOT know if you'd been in a tornado?" I asked her incredulously

"Well, something was going on really big, but there was so much rain, so I didn't think I was in a tornado cause there was no rain in the one on the Wizard of Oz, " she babbled

That one cracked us up!! Then she told us NOT to go to the movies cause the theaters have no central support and it's the worst place to be in a tornado or when space debris falls--
Now , pay attention--- how stupid can we be to glean all our STORM/TORNADO info from TV??? and thank goodness for cell phones so we can get all the info we need at a moments notice--
Now what in the world did ya THINK we talk about in the car?
Now ya know!! :*)
Later~
Mar

Call Cousin Vinnie-- the Fuzz is after us!

February 15, 2009, Sunday
We have done 3200 miles on our trip. . .and today will be OUR "TURN AROUND", we're heading back home--goin' east---

Today started out pretty good except it was Sunday and MANY MANY shops and restaurants are closed here in Amarillo, TX-- WE ARE IN THE BIBLE BELT!-- We looked in vain for an Office Max, Staples ( no such beasts) or UPS store (found one---closed)- to mail my 3 giant packages home--

we poked around some antique stores that were open, ate an early supper at South of the Border, and headed east toward Oklahoma--every now and then I'd stop and take a picture of a dead skunk or a cow or oil well or something, then pull back onto the road and continue on.

We had gotten some fudge in 6 different flavors and Sue had pulled them out so we could taste them all-- I told her I had a very very sharp knife in my glove compartment. She rooted around and found it and proceded to hack off hunks of fudge for our fudge tasting~~Miss Daisy, (Joe) called me on the phone (which was on speaker), so I was driving down the highway, yakking to Joe, Sue's handing me hunks of fudge, and then I saw him. . .

He was on the opposite side of the highway and he crossed over the grassy, ditch of a median strip-- he had his flashing lights on-- I was watching him outta my mirror-- he was wa-a-a-a-yyyy back there-- a good quarter mile-- I paused momentarily from all my multi-tasking that was going on in the car, to see if he was after ME-- He remained way back there--- lights flashing--- I looked around and didn't see any other cars on the road, but he wasn't gaining on me or even trying to as near as I could tell--- so I figured I wasn't his target-- I continued on--- he remained wayyyyy back there--

I told Joe I'd better get off the phone and see if he WAS after me~~

Sue is doing poltergeist head turning--- she's starting to hyperventilate-- "It's because we have so much stuff in the car--- he's after us 'cause we have no visibility "
"Are you crazy?" I snapped at her, "How in the world could he possibly have seen what was in this car from across the highway???"

I kept checking my mirror--- he didn't get any closer, but I decided he MUST be after me because there were NO OTHER cars on the road--- I wondered why he didn't get closer to me???? so I slowed way, way down, and then he came up behind me, lights still flashing, and I pulled over (Joe said he didn't get closer 'cause he was burning up his engine trying to catch me)
I figured we'd be on the evening episode of COPS, before it was all over, being in a NEW YORK car in TEXAS-- for crap's sake

He approached the car on Sue's side --I think she's wetting her pants about now-- Her eyes were as big as saucers. . .she looked like Wiley Coyote did before the rock fell on his head. . .

"LICENSE and INSURANCE please, " he says with his head in the window---

I'm hoping Sue will stick her boobs out and distract him, but that didn't occur to her---

I hand him the required documents and ask him what I'd done--
"You were SPEEDING! " he bellowed
"I was?????" I asked incredulously, sucking a piece of cherry fudge outta my tooth---" what IS the speed limit here, anyway?"
"70"--he replied
"Oh, I AM sorry--- "I thought you pulled me 'cause I was stopping to take pictures of cows"
I think he had a fleeting thought of searching the car but when he poked his head in the window and saw stuff crammed to the ceiling, he thought better of it--he took my license back to his car-

-I had to hold a mirror under Sue's nose to see if she was still breathing. . . he returned and said he was gonna give me a warning this time and he handed me a printed out WARNING--
"thank you so much," I said gratefully--
and we were off--
Then it dawned on me--- THE KNIFE!--- Oh No!
"Sue, I gasped, " good thing he didn't see the knife! He woulda gotten us for weapon possession"
"Oh I hid that first thing," she says calmly (HUH???can you say PRO--FESSIONAL criminal?????)
"You HID it??? He coulda gotten us for CONCEALED weapon"

she probably hid it under the post-it notes--
Later~~
Mar

Backing up to February 14, 2009.

February 14, 2009

We left Abilene today and headed toward Amarillo-- we did the antiques thing, and saw many many oil wells pumping-- cattle, buttes, and plowed cotton fields--there were also many wind farms along the way here as well--

This territory is known as the Hill Country and it is higher in elevation than anyplace we've been so far-- over 3500 feet!!! the mountains in VA were 2800 feet and Galveston was
minus 20--
We veered off the main road onto tiny back roads (tertiary ones for those of you who are paying attention)--the towns look deserted and the houses that were there looked trashy--- even by MY standards!
Sue and I are screeching on the brakes thinking we've stumbled upon a store full of treasures when in fact it's some house with all kinds of trash and debris in the yard and on the porch--

We had lunch at a place called J&M BBQ-- chopped beef, slaw and mashed potatoes with white gravy--- ouch--- our gullets are starting to really GROAN~~~~

as we passed pastures of cattle, we noticed a "cow parade"-- there were hundreds of cows walking single file to . . .somewhere--- I pulled over to take a picture of them and they ALL stopped, turned toward us and all started MOOING in unison--- now Sue is REALLY excited!

along the road, I comment that the scenery sure is pretty and Sue looks out the car window and exclaims, "Yes, it is quite verdent? (SP?) HUH???

We arrived in Amarillo in the evening and promptly went out to Wallie mart so I could get some boxes to mail my "treasures" home--- we are running out of room in the car... :*)


Earlier on towards the beginning of our journey, I "caused" Sue to utter/exclaim, no, it was more like, SCREAM her first F*%# K--
I had maps of all the states and brought tiny square post-it notes to mark where we were on the map for easy findin'--
in the beginning, as Sue was wrestlin' with the maps, I told her to put a post-it on the spot so she didn't have to search for it each time--
"no, I'm alright ," she'd say
so the next time she consulted the map, she'd search and search for the spot where we were and then again for the spot where we were going--her glasses on her forehead, her eyes 2 inches from the map. . .
"Do you need a magnifying glass?" I asked her--- "I brought one"
"nope! I'm good" she'd say
"why don't you just put a post-it on the spot so you can find it easy?" I said --- AGAIN
"nope," she said, "I'm good

Day #2:
repeat Day #1

Day #3--We get in the car and the search for our "spot" resumes
"Want a post-it note to put on the spot?" I ask wearily
She turned on me and spat , "NO!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT A F#@*KING POST IT NOTE!!!!!

"So is that a definite "NO"? I ask, evilly (is that a word?)

later~
Mar

Well, in case you're wondering, Sue has drunk the KOOL-AID, now, and she's posting post it notes on everything in sight!

Today is February 19, 2009 we're still heading east

Today is Thursday, February 19, 2009-- we are in Shawnee, Oklahoma--but I am backing up to fill you in on the last 7 days!



We left off on Feb 12, with Sue clutching her pocketbook (she still is, by the way)--


February 13, Friday
We did the Fredericksburg, TX, shops which were too cute . We ate at the local restaurant on the corner--chicken and dumplins, cornbread and german sausage-- big German influence here in this town.

In some of the shops, we saw a few pillows that looked like they were made out of Fawn hide-- brown with white spots--- they were gorgeous! ( well, city slicker Sue was SURE they were fake-- I disagreed)--and I felt awful that some poor little baby deer got hisself skinned :*(
In one of the shops, we asked the lady if they were real-- she said "OH YES"-- we looked at her in horror, and asked if they were fawn hides--
"Oh no, they are AXIS DEER--- they are spotted their whole lives"-- well, we certainly felt better that a baby critter didn't end up laying on a sofa with a rich bitches backside squashing it ( they were about $150 a pillow) and I personally was sorry they were so expensive-- they would have looked so cute in my house!--

We headed west to Abilene, TX--along the way we saw GIANT windmill farms-- thousands of them , just twirling quietly - We called our "in house" tour guide ( Karen Sabrsula, of Simonton, TX, who, if you remember, was busy hiding under her sofa when she thought we might POP IN)--She told us they were a project of Ole T. Boone Pickens--

There were many, many dead skunks along the way--- Sue could focus, as we sped by, on the features of the squashed, dead skunk---
"nice markings" she'd say
" Oh, that one had a handsome coat" she'd state as the black and white blob blurred by--

we also saw quite a few of the "Axis Deer" dead along the highway--- the thought crossed my mind to have Sue get out and skin a hunk off--- she generally will do most anything you ask her to :*)-- but she didn't seem willing to do this ---

There are a few oil wells pumping all over the place--- My cousin John D, said that the pumps we see are just pumps-- those giant tower things are used when they are DRILLING for oil--

The dirt here is DEEP DEEP red-- I'm not sure if it's clay or dirt-- can't tell whilst whizzing by at 80 MPH--by the way, here the speed limit signs are posted: White sign on top: 70MPH ( some places it's been 80 ! )-and then right under it a Black sign with white writing : 65 MPH-- Day and night speed limits

The land here looks just like the plains did that John Wayne rode his horse around in---scruffy bushes, red clay/dirt and a few buttes-- ( a raised mountain looking thing with a FLAT top)
Sue pointed out the butte: " Oh, look ! there's some buttes---"
"Oh , Yeah," I said glancing over
"or mesas", she added
"WHAT???"

" Well, "she said, deep in thought, they look like buttes, but they may be MESAS"
AA--RR--GG---HH---
Here we go again, Miss" is it a hawk or a falcon"

There are tons of black cattle, which keeps Sue occupied with deep bovine thoughts--

We got to Abilene--We ate at a place called Lytles Cattle House--- we had chicken fried steak with white gravy--the place was sorta like Outback, but Texas BBQ style--

There are a bazillion , bazillion pick up trucks here--- vehicle of choice, but I'm thinking there are an inordinate number of RED ones--- zillions of them--- could be that the red ones just stick out, but tons of them , none the less--

a few days ago, we did have another toilet blowing up episode--We had just checked in and we hadn't even gotten all the suitcases in--- Sue came running out of the bathroom saying water was spouting out everywhere--We got our room changed AGAIN--
I suggested Sue stop eating all that fruit and stick to cookies and fudge, like I'm doing--

In our stash of food we've brought, I have some absolutely deee-lishious SOFT dried bananas--Sue had never seen them, so I offered the bag to her--- she raised her eyeglasses to her forehead ( s***t-- how do you spell forehead?) and stuck her face on the ingredient label and said, horrified, " It has SUGAR and artificial banana flavoring!!!"
"Yeah??? Point???" I replied
So she pulled out HER bananas she brought--- they were in a package like proscuitto comes in--- they looked like ROADKILL in a package-- you had to peel the slices off
She presented them to me PROUDLY-- "here! try mine--- they are all natural---"
( they are called "NOTHING BUT BANANAS, FLATTENED" )--
well, I peeled off a slice--- no easy feat--- got goo under my nails-- I took a bite, which again was no easy task--- it was like jerky--- that's what this crap is like---BANANA JERKY!-- I chewed and chewed and chewed trying to soften this "all natural stuff " up- I swallowed a giant knot of banana and decided I'll stick with my Sam's club delicacy.

well, gotta hit the road---
Later~~
Mar

Thursday February 12, 2009-we're in OIL COUNTRY

Thursday, Feb 12, 2009 left Geddings TX

Our new destination is the cute town of Fredericksburg, TX--along the route we started seeing oil wells, just pumping away all by their lonesome out in a field-- We came across an antique mall in Johnsonville, TX--home of Lyndon B. Johnson--

We ate lunch at the Circle K Cafe-hey we're growing girls, YA KNOW--- if we grow anymore we're gonna have to go over to the walmart and get some stretchy pants--anyway--

this place was WONDERFUL!!!-- we had homemade chicken salad with pecans ( big pecan area) and pineapple over a fruit salad with her "secret" poppy seed dressing-- it was purple and very thick--Sue says it's the best she's ever had!!! We asked the waitress if she knew what was in it and she said the chef/owner would NEVER tell-- so we asked if they sold the dressing?
"Oh, YES! " she answered, excitedly, "it's $5.95 for about a container this big." and she took her hands and showed us HOW BIG-- we were so excited!-- Sue, the "HUMAN food taster/recipe figure outter", said we could see the ingredients on the bottle and she could probably figure out how to make it--- we were PSYCHED! The waitress came out and told us it would be a few minutes, the owner was making a new batch!!
OH JOY!!! fresh salad dressing!-- we started to drool just thinking about it~~fruit salads galore! fruit salad for EVERYBODY with the special secret salad dressing-- our friends and family will DIE when they eat this stuff--we will be culinary QUEENS~~~
and then. . .the waitress comes out holding 2 big plastic cups with the flimsiest lids you ever did see--purple stuff drippping down the inside--
"here ya go", she says happily, "she just made it fresh!"
"well, " I stammered, "do you think I might have a zip loc bag to keep it in? we're traveling"
"sure thing" she says, "can I get y'all anything else?"
and she brings out ONE zip loc--so Sue has it tucked neatly under her seat for the journey.

Speaking of Sue's seat: for over 3000 miles, she has traveled with her pocketbook on her lap--perched upright, right in front of the glove compartment. Now when I was a kid, we had a lady in town, called Nettie Hazelwood--- she was the wife of a local real estate agent and we considered her "noveau riche" -- they made some money,(called "new money") so she thought she was hot stuff. when ever she came to a party ,or any social thing, at anybody's house, she would always carry her pocketbook around--- NO MATTER WHAT--now we lived in the boondocks FOR SURE, so everybody knew everybody-- all the women always put their pocketbooks down for the duration of the social event--ALWAYS-- not NETTIE-- she struggled with food, drinks, even a bridge game, all the while wrestling with that pocketbook--

At the beginning of our trip, I told her to put it on the console---"Nope, I'm alright, " she said
another 1000 miles into the trip--
"Sue, that's GOT to be uncomfortable, just set it down on the floor"
"No, I'm fine-- it's not bothering me in the least", she answers happily


O.K. Nettie---~~whatever~~~wonder what's in there she doesn't want to spill out? hmmmmm

We arrived in Fredericksburg, made the rounds in a few shops, checked into a hotel, and went to the grocery store and got beer, wings, and ribs and went back to our room and had a feast--
I havent been able to drink much on this trip since I have to drive
anyway, it's late, and I'm ALMOST caught up to date
Later~~
Mar

The Devastation Tour, Feb 11, Wednesday

Wednesday, Feb 11, 2009



We got to Galveston and Gilchrist, TX-- Gilchrist was COMPLETEY wiped out by Hurricane Ike--imagine if you will, ANY beachfront community--the Hamptons, Virginia Beach, Seaside, etc~~just wiped off the earth-- it was so so sad-- there were house pilings left standing in some places, cars still overturned, and some people had spray painted their address on the side of their house-- many years ago when we had gone to Galveston on a tour, they told us that in the HURRICANE of 1913 , houses were lifted up and redeposited in somebody elses yard-- some houses were butt up against another house--- so I guess that people anticipated that their house may be moved--?--

we took a ferry into Galveston, and found that MOST, if not all, of the magnificent houses there had been flooded--- but work was being done on almost all of them--most looked like they were fine on the outside, but you could see that they had been damaged, in some way. Windows were boarded up, roofs were torn up, and water damage was evident from the outside--- lawns and shrubs were dead from the floods--Many stores were boarded up -- Ike hit there on Sept 13--5 months ago--the clean up just seems so overwhelming--
the elevation there was -20!--that's MINUS 20-- (20 feet BELOW sea level)

But, fiddle dee dee--- let's EAT!
so we found a cute place in town called "The Mosquito Cafe" ~~"one bite is all it takes"-- We shared a turkey, brie, lettuce, and apple sandwich with garlic mayo and cranberry slaw-- we had a lemon square for dessert, and then we hit the road towards Round Top Texas-- We have read about the giant antiques market there ( not this time of year, sadly)-- and thought MAYBE there would be some residual juicy stuff there---NOT--

so we poked around a few shops along the road on the way to Round Top



We got to Round Top in the dark ( population 77)-- now, I wonder. . .if somebody DIES or is BORN, do they go up and cross out the number like they do on TV?--I mean, it was one of those green road-type signs, so they probably have to send it to the Road Department, or something-

-

anyway, Round Top was tucked in for the night so we decided to move on-- We had called my friend Karen who lives in Simonton, to do the POP IN, but she was on a client call ( OR she had caller ID and was runnin for the hills?)--We finally got ahold of her and she had all kinds of helpful info, like how to pronounce LUBBOCK--can you guess??? give it your best shot!-

-I said LOO---BOCK--"nope," she said, helpfully, ''you'll get your ass kicked if you say LOO--BOCK---it's LUB---BUCK"-----Isn't this FUN how I tell y'all how to PRO--NOUNCE everything???????



So we've reached Round Top, Round Top is sleeping, so we move on toward Fredericksburg, TX (where we got a HOT TIP that there were many many shops and antiques and a really cute town) and my GPS says there's ONE hotel between here and there--I call the hotel to make reservations and then totally rely on her to get us there, through winding , dark, dark, darkest, backroads, er, I mean tertiary roads--

HOW DOES ANYBODY GET ANYWHERE WITHOUT ONE OF THESE THINGS??? We were just exclaiming ( how exactly does one EXCLAIM?) about how UN--FUN this trip would be if you had to have your head in the map all the time--- Heck , Sue wouldn't have been able to see the cows, the cows "doing it", the dead skunks, the DEAD cow, the HAWKS (or falcons?)

one note on my GPS-- My portable one is nicknamed MEGGIE ( she's a Garmin, but her predecessor was a Megellan and had the name Meggie), but she's out of date, ( by a month or 2) and the one built into my car is named Ditsy Daisy-- 'cause she's unreliable ( she keeps giving me locations 1000 miles away, won't let me program her whilst moving ( stupid when you have another person in car), but she DOES track the trail I've been on so I can get back from somewhere AND she's up to date). I also have a talking radar detector--when they all get to talking Sue thinks it's pretty noisy in there??? Especially when my alarm clock went off in the way back , buried beneath all the stuff-- no way to get to it--maddening!



Sue has taken on a NEW wildlife interest---SKUNKS! we come across a squashed one every 25 miles or so--she's never seen so many, she says--"oh what nice stripes that one has", she clucks--I ask her if she wants to pull over--- I have a really sharp knife and she could skin it--- I also have some gloves in the way back--she wasn't really interested in that--While Sue was studying the cows, yet again, she saw a dead one --- just laying in the field??? hope it wasn't one of them MAD COWS
We stayed in Geddings, TX tonight-- mileage : 2518
no toilet trouble tonight
Later~
Mar

Today we're doing "The Turnaround"

Today is February 16,2009

Today we are at the halfway mark of our journey and we are doing "THE TURN AROUND"--We got as far west as Amarillo, Texas, touched "base" so to speak and turned east and now we're heading toward home. We have traveled 3300 miles to date--(It is approximately 3000 miles from New York to California--for a reference)

But first , let me catch you up from where we left off on the previous post as I'm sure y'all are sitting by your computers waiting to read where Sue and I have eaten and shopped for the last 6 or so days. The last y'all read we had eaten at Rockefellers--Miss Paula Deen had her picture taken there--they showed us that, they did--

a note on our journey into Ponchatoula from New Orleans on Feb 9: When we left New Orleans to get to Ponchatoula, we had to cross a GIGANTIC swamp---the roadway was raised over the swamp and it was , I think , 37 miles long!! and there was NO warning on the New Orleans side that there was NO GAS for a bazillion miles---Thank God we had a full tank of gas, but it made us aware that we should not let the gas get down to below 1/2 a tank-

Feb 9 was also our first situation with a TOILET PLUNGER being delivered to us by the front desk--
"no thanks", said we, and we had our room moved-- I certainly don't mind PLUNGING a toilet, but not after we'd been in the room for only 10 minutes and ONE FLUSH-- that looked like a dangerous situation where something might have crawled back OUT of the sewer pipes from previous guests---A`~a~a~a~r~r~g~g~h~h~

February 10, 2009 Tuesday

Today we "antiqued" in town (Ponchatoula LA )-- there were quite a few shops closed-- Everybody in town told us we absolutely HAD HAD HAD to see the alligator in town-- we found him in a cage down by the RR tracks-- He musta been a young alligator because he wasn't very big, but his growth may have been stunted from living in a cage--I'm pretty sure he must be deaf because the train whistle was the loudest thing ever-- a train came by every hour or so (they were the old fashioned freight trains, with box cars, freight cars, and oil cars ( sue said)). It would take about 5-7 minutes for them to get past the cage, blowing the whistle at full throttle-- He had pennies all over his back from people throwing them into the water in his cement cage . There was rabbit wire lining the cage now, so things hadn't been thrown in for a while, so I guess the pennies had been on his back for a while--- He probably thought he had the finest "coat" in town. He couldn't hear what people really thought because he's deaf.. He didn't have a name but was an advertisement for KYLEE'S SWAMP AND ALLIGATOR TOUR. ~~KYLEE should be shot. poor little deaf, tacky 'gator. :*(

Before we hit the road, Sue and I ate at the Strawberry Patch Cafe---(God forbid we missed a meal)--- we shared a Reuban sandwich and had the BEST BEST BEST Strawberry Beignets--They made tiny beignets and filled (injected) them with a "runny" homemade strawberry preserves. Sue wanted me to tell y'all they were filled with COULIS (pronounced COO-LIE) to impress y'all, but I'm pretty sure NOBODY in PONCHATOULA , LOUISIANA knows what the hell a COULIS is?

We left town in early afternoon and made it to Denham Springs LA where we found GOBS and GOBS of antique places -- we shopped til they closed and then hit the road again heading WEST-

We stopped for the night in Sulphur LA at a MICROTEL--it was GROSS-- it had ants,--Sue got all nervous and scritchy~~ scratched~~ all night--
~~scitchy ~~scratch~~scritchy~~~scratch~~~

February 11, 2009, Wednesday-- the temp is 55*--YEAH~~

In the morning I discovered a "bulletproof" glass, in the lobby doors where they lock the main hotel doors and have a window kinda like a drive up window at the bank for you to slip your credit card in to register at night--~~YIKES!!~~--Sue is delighted for me to spray the rooms down with Lysol, now.

Sue is still looking at the birds on the wire-- She'll say, "there's a HAWK," and then she'll immediately say, everytime, every single, solitary time, "or a falcon"--like, I'd know the difference--- they all look like pigeons to me--

Stay tuned for the next adventure--the "devastation tour"
Later~
Mar

Day 11--- we're still KICKIN"!

Today is Feb 12, 2009 and we're in TEXAS--- but let me back up and catch up on the last 8 days--How do I know what we did for the last 8 days , you ask?-- "Cause we're keeping a diary-- well, I 'm keeping a diary, Sue's keeping a journal-- we're gonna compare them at the end and see if we were on the same trip---



anyway, Friday, Feb 6, found us trucking down the road from ALABAMA with the destination of Apalachiacola, Florida-- we spent quite a while discussing how to pronounce this goofy word-- I pronounced it Apalachia--cola (like the mountains with a cola on the end)--

Sue, who's Aunt Pitty Pat directed us there, said it was Apa--LATCH-a-cola--

yes!!!

now y'all know what fascinating conversations are going on as we were speeding down the highway. We found signs for Tupelo Apiaries so figured we'd get some honey-- we ended up getting it off the guys front porch-- he had a box with a slot in it and a big sign that a camera was watching us-- Sue pulled out her $$ and waved it around all over the porch because she wasn't sure where the camera was focused and she didn't want to be dragged onto the ground, strip searched and appear on the show COPS--( which is filmed there in Florida, ya know)--for snitching honey from some bees that live in a tupelo tree which we never found, by the way.



We had lunch on the water and walked the cute town and looked in shops--it was a really old town with lots of old buildings-- apparently every store/building in town was having door knob problems. Every single door we went in had a note taped to the door to tell us how to open it--"turn knob and push"or "turn knob, push up and pull" or "knob doesn't turn, give it your best shot and kick it"--We were thinking that Sue should move there and go in the door knob replacement business--surprised nobody in that town has thought of it yet.



We finished up in Apalachiacola so early that I called my cousin Sophia (pronounced SOF--YA) who lives in Shalimar FLORIDA and told her we were on our way-- she lives about 1 1/2 hours away so off we went---"WESTWARD HO !"
We arrived at Sophia and John D's house (colonel--airforce--retired :*) ) , that evening, and she had arranged for her daughter Mary Beth and family to bring over dinner-- so we feasted on fried chicken, mashed potatoes and all the fixin's--we caught up on family gossip, played/fixed her computer and hit the sack at 3:00 am (ET)--2 am CENTRAL TIME-- we have crossed a time zone here.

The next day, February 7, 2009, we accompanied Sophia and John D on their weekly get together at McDonald's-- they picked up their friend Nelly (aged 80 +) at the retirement home for Air Force widows/widowers, and we met another couple, Patty and John (aged 80+ ?) and Sophia's daughter Mary Beth, her hubber Scott and their kids there, -- they apparently have "THEIR TABLE" and nobody else better sit there or else-- kinda like when somebody sits in your pew at church--they were all firing up their "stink eye" in case it was needed---another little ole lady showed up with her cell phone tied around her neck like a necklace--- they all had stories of how their "sons' or "daughters" had gotten them cell phones, in case they fell ---and none of them knew how to use them--other than making phone calls-- it was great fun-, and for all they cared they were at the finest country club-- they were happy as larks.

Then we visited Mary Beth's house..Believe it or not, right after that, we all met again at a seafood restaurant and had a gigantic LUNCH-- and from there her sister Kate took us on a tour of the area--We visited SEASIDE, a resort town in Florida---here the houses ALL have to have names and picket fences and each picket fence has to be different-- cute town--and the smallest post office in the country is here--

Miss Kate took us to a place called , MISS LUCILLE'S GOSSIP PARLOR--where you could sit down in her "parlor" and have tea, scones, cakes and read the latest issue of The Enquirer, The Globe or any of those things--- too funny--
we toured the area all afternoon and GUESS WHAT??? we all met again at Mary Beth's house to have a Chinese BUFFET--- just roll us home--- I don't think Sue has seen so much sugar and fried food in the last decade!

Sophia , John D, and her Kids were the BEST hosts EVER-- we felt so welcome and comfortable there-- and they would not let us pay for a thing--- oh wait a minute, maybe they did want us pay and we just didn't offer--uh oh, that would make us the guests from Hell--

Sunday, February 8, 2009

We hit the road today, and headed toward Mississippi-- we found red clay roads that were obviously state maintained, but were not paved--they had stop signs and speed limit signs! We drove around in the REAL boondocks for a while-- By nightfall, we had made it to New Orleans-- our hotel for the night was right in the heart of the city--

Sue seemed extremely nervous-- don't know exactly what she was anticipating, but when we drove right smack into town past BOURBON street, and were stopped at a light, she nearly tore the door handle off the car when she saw some drunk kid humping the car in front of us--and her TERROR continued when we actually walked down bourbon street with all the drunks, nekked pictures of lesbos, girls, and transvestites hanging outta every window.

My cousin Kate told us that if you wanted to show your boobs ( that's what you do in New Orleans--- you flash your boobs and you get mardi gras beads) that we should find the biggest boobed woman and stand next to her and nobody would notice us and we could get some "pity beads"--that Kate, she KNOWS everything :*)

The next day Monday February 9, we walked New Orleans, had Beignets at Cafe du Monde, visited the French market, cute shops and antique stores --discovered an artist named JAMIE HAYES who made "friendly voo doo dolls:, wrote 2 books--cute-- and has a line of dolls called BIG LIPS-- they are precious-- go to his website
We then drove around to see the devastation in New Orleans--it is heartbreaking-- especially seeing the spray paint symbols on the houses--DOG CHAINED ON PORCH---DOA--where we drove around, the 9th ward, I would say it was 85% abandoned-- a waiter told us that the state cannot find the owners and they cannot demolish these houses until they do--- so they are trying to pass a law that after 4 years ! the state can go in and demolish them--they are a danger-- falling down, rotting, etc-- so sad

We arrived in Ponchatoula LA -- the strawberry and antique capital of the country ( they think they are, anyway)--had a fantastic dinner of several oyster hors d'oeurves (lightly fried on toast rounds with canadian bacon and hollandaise, and the other with crabmeat) and a hamburger with sausage meat and blue cheese--we split these for those of you who are keeping track---
dessert was a strawberry "shortcake" of fried angelfood cake, sitting on strawberry cream cheese, fresh strawberries and fresh whipped cream.

Sue is still really interested in those cows-- I glanced over at the pasture as we were zooming by, and exclaimed-- "WOA--look at all those cowpies!" (the ground was PEPPERED)
"Cowpies?" she asked
"YEA-- you know what cowpies are don't you?" I asked her
"Well, sure,-- cow poop" , but I didn't think those were cowpies", she said, distracted
"Well, what did you think they were?, I asked
"well, I thought they were "tufts" of grass" she said, twirling her hairs
"HUH?'

then she told me (getting back to that cows/cattle dilemma) that only male cows are used for beef, and in fact, she added, most of the chicken we eat is ROOSTER meat--
I suggested that she start an organization like PETA to SAVE THE MALES (could be the sister organization of SAVE THE WHALES)--this was total discrimination and she should make it her CAUSE-- !!!
I'm tellin ya, I had NO IDEA Sue was such a farm girl--I wonder if she's been secretly studying animal husbandry or something---what a wealth of information on the lives of farm stock!!!

well, I'm almost caught up to date, but have to hit the hay-- have a big day of shopping, walking, and eating ahead
Later~
Martha

It's our ONE WEEK benchmark!

Today is Monday, Feb 9, 2009-- We have been on the road for one full week, it's a full moon and we have not killed each other ------YET
I have quite the "catch up " to do since I couldn't figure how to get into this blog---duh


on Feb. 3, Tuesday, IT IS COLD---SNOW EVERYWHERE!
we traveled from West VA to Strasburg VA, nestled in the Shenandoah Valley under the Blue Ridge Mountains--- My mother was born there and I showed Sue the "NABE"- my Aunt Tanty's house and Aunt Speck's house--
then it was on to Staunton Va, where we visited my niece, Amanda and her hubber, Steve, and baby Lily . We poked around in Staunton at some cute shops ---crap!!! now the LINE is stuck on here and I do not know how to get it off---

We stopped in Statesville NC (?) and had BBQ again,--- brisket, corn fritters, sweet potato sticks ( from SYSCO, we were told)

Wednesday, Feb 4, we went to Hickory NC to the furniture mart-- HOLY MOLY-- enormous---

From there we headed south west to Ashville NC--- CUTE TOWN-- but a lot of the stores were closed because the weather people told everybody to stay home because of the snow--- yes!!!!
SNOW--- it was 18*

We ate at a CUTE cafe called the Tupelo Honey Cafe (pronounced Too-Pa--LOW)-- we had EGGS CRAWLY ( poached eggs with crabcake on top, asparagus and hollandaise), fried green tomatoes, and candied ginger cornbread (muffin) with peach butter. We discovered Tupelo honey -- honey gathered from the tupelo tree--- we don't know what they look like so we don't know if we've seen one--

We bypassed HOTLANTA and stayed outside in the burbs--

Thursday Feb 5
WE hit the road still heading south and ventured off the main highway into a town called West Point, GA--it was 2 miles from the Alabama border---really cute shops here----the stores had names like Southern Shadows, Twisted Daisy, and Sweet Georgia Brown--

It was in the same area as WARM SPRINGS where FDR had his little White House-- we were directed to Heart of the South for lunch which was all HOMEMADE food on a buffet ( 'cause good grief, we NEED more food on this trip!)--they had stuff like string beans, butter beans, brunswick stew, beef and noodles, spinach salad, pineapple casserole, cornbread salad, buttermilk pie and chessman banana pudding--we were so excited to find out she had a cookbook of her stuff--- so we each got one-- the owner told us that Miss Paula Deen took some liberties with HER recipes--- "just look at the date on MY cook book and when Paula started out", she sniffed

We antiqued the rest of the day in Alabama----I found an antique Steiff Jack Russell--saw a little red "tutu" looking skirt that had "built in " music that played the can can

The trees along the highway are LOADED with mistletoe, and fat little brown birds are plentiful sitting on the wires watching the cars go by. . at night deer were EVERYWHERE so I was a bit nervous about driving--- 18 wheelers are everywhere on the main highways so we try to take the back roads as often as we can.

Sue has spotted hawks, and loves to say shit like tertiary and swath-- "I love this tertiary road," she says,
"Why don't we get on the tertiary road up here?"
or, "These tertiary roads might not show up on your GPS"
or
"What a lovely swath of grass over there"
so finally I asked her what the hell tertiary meant--- to rephrase it for the layman, so to speak--
she looked at me like I was crazy--

"It means "SECONDARY", she says, surprised I would ask
'SECONDARY?????" you mean BACK ??? BACK ROADS????-- why don't you just say BACK ROADS???"

"because I thought you liked to hear me say TERTIARY", she says wickedly, "so I was trying to say it as much as possible"

Cattle are everywhere too, and Sue seems really really concerned whether they are DAIRY COWS or CATTLE--
"I don't know, "she mutters, "they must be cattle, because I don't see them getting milked'
"well, I don't think they milk them out in the field, " says I-
"I know, " she says rather worried sounding, " but they are not going back to the barn"
"WELL, it's 2 O'CLOCK in the afternoon-- it aint time for milking!!!!:"
So as she studied the grazing CATTLE/COWS/DAIRY COWS, trying to figure out their purpose in life, she caught a couple of them having a rather private BOVINE moment--in PUBLIC--- THAT shut her up about the cows for the next hundred miles or so.


When we get to our hotel room, the first thing I do is spray down the whole room with lysol--- I spray the light switches, the phone, the lamps, the toilet, the faucets, door handles, the bed, and the remote---
Sue comes in GASPING and choking and saying she's gonna die from the fumes before the germs get her
and we sure we are some kinda glad to have our bottle of POO-POURRI--one spritz of POO, before # 2 !
Its late and I need to get some shut eye before heading across the state of LOUISIANA into Texas
Later~~~
Mar

and we're OFF!

Today is Monday, Feb 2---Pauxatauny Phil saw his shadow. While Pauxy was getting yanked outta his warm groundhog hole, I was running around the house, finishing packing, loading the car and trying to organize the MOTHER SHIP so things could be found easily when we stopped for the night--hahaha--Our estimated time of departure was 9 am--- NO PROB, until 7:30 am rolled around and then the first phone call was made to my friend-- how about we leave at 10?
"GREAT!" she exclaims happily
then the 10:30 phone call---" am leaving in 15 minutes, just loading the car" (SOME MORE)--
"GREAT GREAT " she replies joyfully
at 11:30 I arrive at her house to load up her stuff-- and we're OFF!
I have only GLANCED at a map to get a general idea of what direction to head in (SOUTH)--we begin the journey---
we stopped at a place called RITAS DESSERTS and tasted some of her famous, awesome, decadent desserts ( HER WORDS-- they were NOT)

We went through Frederick Maryland and stopped to see "THE BRIDGE" by (arteeeest) Cochran-- the weather dropped about 20 degrees since we left home--- I thought it was supposed to get HOTTER when you headed SOUTH???
we ate at the BLACK PIG BBQ place and then headed off to find a motel--- It started snowing like crazy and there seemed to be no motels anywhere--- we put "LODGING" into the GPS (herein called "MEGGIE) and all she would show was hotels 40 miles back-- we finally found a comfort inn in WEST VA and decided to call it a night----

The engines are revving up. . .

Today is Friday, January 30, 2009-- I have dug out all my clothes to take on the journey--- I have to remember to keep the clothes baskets and suitcases closed, because Trittie,( the Jack Russell dog), thinks it's great fun to PEE in piles of clothes. She follows me around all day long, as I trip over her and step on her paws--- I 'm sure she knows something's up!-- They are going to stay with Uncle Vet (Miss Daisy's bro) for the duration.



My morning started with a daybreak trip to Sams Club for much needed necessities--- some MORE flashlites, batteries, rolling coolers, toilet paper, books, dvd's, a copier, scanner, drill/screwdrivers, prosciutto, paper towels, 700 bottles of water and a receipt 24 inches long!!!--

Miss Daisy ( aka, Joe) leaves me notes each morning telling me I need to wear a helmet if I cross the mojave desert 'cause the military uses it for target practice , and to get LIFE jackets in case we cross somewhere where there may be a flash flood, and we should " pick up" a rifle in VEGAS to shoot the coyotes who may swarm us if we become stranded ( from the flash flood, or the target situation)--- so now, picture it, ---Sue and I standing on the roof of my white jeep, wearing our big puffly orange lifejackets, wearing helmets and assuming our defensive positions against the coyote invasion with our rifles--

Sue, in all seriousness, fretted that she didn't want scorpions to "get us"

"Where, pray tell, are we gonna get scorpions?"--Maybe I should take one of the grands' bug boxes to collect them in?



So, tomorrow will be a hectic day, getting it all to come together--- we postponed the trip one day so we could go to the superbowl party at my daughter's house.--Oh dear, Miss Daisy has just thought of another drama-- we should get a LEAD vest when we cross the desert (where they did all those atomic testings back in John Waynes day) to protect ourselves---

signing off for tonight---

Departure date getting CLOSER :*) Jan 19,2009

Well, the time left until our departure is getting shorter--- to complicate things, the cleaning woman is coming tomorrow, which means all the junk I've pulled out for the trip has to get re-stashed! And, I have to anticipate all kinds of screwy weather along the journey. I have a crate with "emergency" stuff in it--- mace, batteries, flashlights, small bat (baseball, not vampire), can o' fix-a-flat, dvd player, emergency phone charger-- now I have to figure out what kinds of clothes to take-- although the journey will probably follow the southern route, the weather channel is yakking about freak storms and cold weather. Miss Daisy ( AKA hubber Joe) has announced that they are kidnapping people traveling in Arizona and holding them for ransom-- he is getting quite the charge outta this, anticipating me wrapped in duct tape somewhere in Arizona.--

Prelog to the adventure

I have just set up a blog to record my "across the country" adventure that will begin on Feb 1, 2009--stay tuned---

right now, it's wednesday, 14 Jan-- I'm busy playing catch up and getting stuff together for the journey-
I am going with my friend , Sue, and we do not have a ROUTE planned, per se, but plan on heading south from here in New York, taking a turn when we reach Florida, and head west out to California-- We hope to travel "back roads, secondary roads, or blue highways, " if you will--if nothing else, it will be "new material"